The Creative Quarantine

Before I get started, I want to acknowledge the seriousness of this virus, and suggest that you take a look at these links: Coronavirus vs. Every 2000’s Epidemic video, A Medical Worker Describes Coronavirus Lung Failure Even in Young Patients) so you can treat your quarantine appropriately.

When the Coronavirus hit Europe I, like many people, booked it home as fast as I could as the pillars of global interconnectivity toppled by the hour, an Indiana Jones temple caving in on itself as we travelers dashed through airport corridors with our face masks and lysol wipes, praying to get wherever it was we wanted to be in time before the whole thing came crashing down on our heads. 

I made it back to Vermont with the dust still settling behind me, a place I could be in nature and away from the panic-stricken cities for the indeterminate future. Then, like everyone else, I asked myself the big question:

What now?

Worries

Like many people, I worried about my job as a circus artist, which suddenly felt narcissistic and irrelevant. Realizing just how far performers were down the totem pole of what is “necessary” to a functioning society was not a pleasant experience.

Upon further reflection though, the things that I believed were true about art before this pandemic I believe remain true- art is a powerful source of inspiration and hope, especially during dark and uncertain times. People look to the artists to help them understand what to think of the world (and to entertain them when quarantined from the world). Without art there is only the media, which is important, but hope is not always what makes the headlines.

I took these worries as an opportunity to be grateful- grateful that I’m not more worried, grateful that I and the people I know are healthy, grateful to look at this moment in history as an opportunity to slow down and reflect rather than speed up and panic. Guidance counselors have been known to ask what you would do with your life if money wasn’t a factor. In this moment, being unable to do what I previously did to earn money, it made me ask myself what I could do now, in the situation I’m in, that I might not have had time for in my usual routine. The answers, for me, have been writing, redoing my website, filming juggling videos, spending time in nature and with my family- in short, much of how I was already spending my life. That realization was uplifting.

Invitation

While it’s true that I am worried about my job, as are many of us, as independent contractors we have the advantage that we are used to uncertainty. There are people getting laid off right now that don’t know where their next job is coming from and that’s new and scary for them. As artists, we are constantly in a state of job hunting. The only difference now is that there is very little we can do other than what we already usually do during similar periods in between gigs, which is to say doing everything involved in the job that doesn’t involve performing.

As well as keeping up with the back end of a performing arts career, artists have continued using their creativity to reflect the current situation in the world. They are providing services and entertainment to those also stuck in quarantine: teaching classes online, setting up pay-per-view opportunities to watch full shows (or sharing them for free), sharing group workouts, filming instructional videos, making e-books and poetry and videos and music.

As I often do when facing a period without work, I tell myself, “This is your vacation.”

So once again, despite these strange new times, I tell myself:

This is the invitation you’ve been waiting for. The world has been put on pause so you can listen to those quiet voices that have been telling you to try that thing that you never had time for. Enjoy the gift of time with yourself.

Personally, I’m enjoying testing out this slower gear I haven’t used in a while.

Reactive vs. Proactive and The Illusion of Infinite Productivity

Part of creativity comes from boredom, which conveniently shares a large overlap on the Venn diagram with quarantine. Although I bemoaned it, a constantly filling inbox had always been a way to reactively direct my day.  Having such a sudden expanse of free time with no pressing obligations means that I’ve had to be more proactive in order to feel fulfilled.

With an extraordinary amount of free time on your hands (note: probably not those of you with kids, or that manage to work from home), it’s easy to feel like you’re not doing enough. “I have so much time, I should be reading more,” or “I should have finished that entire book I wanted to write!” or “I could have learned 10 songs on the guitar by now!”

Having a goal that I can succeed at helps me calm these voices, these illusions of infinite productivity. If I hit my 1,000 word writing goal every day I’m happy, even if it only took one hour of the available 24. For me that adds positive pressure in a way that helps me accomplish an amount of ‘work’ I can be satisfied with (I have other similar goals: do something physical every day, etc), while also reducing unrealistic expectations for myself that I will somehow become a writing machine just because I don’t have emails to do.

One benefit of this quarantine is that it has given me the time to get over the inertia of starting something new: the silly feeling of trying a new idea I wasn’t sure about, or trying to learn a new skill alone in the woods, or starting to learn a new song. I’m allowing myself to celebrate the small success of trying things I’ve wanted to, without worry too much about the outcomes. I’ve allowed myself to reconfigure my expectations for how good I expect to be at these new things without comparing myself to others, and accepting the feelings of enjoyment that comes from trying to make progress from where I am now. I’d be interested to hear other people’s experiences as well.

I hope your quarantine is a safe, creative, and productive one. Stay healthy.